Too Deep

There is nothing, there is no one, there’s no colour, there’s no light

And my feelings don’t cast shadows, and my heartbeat’s lost in tides;

There’s no sound to pierce or wound me, there’s nobody I could hurt

There is nothing to hold onto – not a particle of dirt


I am black, and cold and solid; I am blue and fluid and calm

I don’t think, I am not though of; I’m alive although I’ve drowned

My thick sorrow turns to rapture; my old scars all bleed and laugh

I’m dissolving, vaguely conscious of one thing: it’s not enough


Ghosts of numbers robbed of meaning by the abyss that I face

Drift away into oblivion: they can’t measure all this space

Where there’s nothing, where there’s no one, where I’m just another drop;

You… I wish I didn’t love you – because then I wouldn’t stop


I’ve been missing you my whole endless life

Reaching for your face which brightens my dreams

But would you know me if in a narrow street

We brushed shoulders and our hair intertwined?


Do you hear me when I scream in my bed

Fighting shameless ghosts from my undead past?

Do you know I’d do whatever you asked

If you only talked to me and forgave?


No, you’d grieved for me before I could die,

You gave up on me the first time I failed;

I won’t find you – no street’s narrow enough

For you to recognize your sister in me