Autumn

Autumn, what color is your hair?

Like mine, it’s this of dying summer;

And this long copper dress you wear

Have you not taken from my shelf?

/

The strong, cold wind that brought you here

Could be the deepest breath from my chest;

Like mine, your voice is low and quiet,

Like me, all that you are is change

/

You color skies with daunting colors,

You drain its warmth out of the sun

Like mine, your coming is unwelcome:

It means that worse things are to come

/

Autumn, you’re smiling from my mirror

A mother’s smile that tells me all shall pass

I trust you, Autumn, but I’m leaving

To chase my dying summer’s warmth

The Church and the River

On the Neva’s wide banks in Your home, made of rocks

I stand quietly, breathing and staring

At Your icons which I try to pray to, but can’t:

My heart falters in doubt and I barely

/

Even manage to keep my hands close to the flames

Of the candles of hopes, crying, melting,

Changing sizes and shapes, burning down to the base –

So much like me that it seems unsettling

/

I stand like this all day, looking straight in Your eyes –

They’re alive with the flames’ golden flicker;

‘Where’s my candle today? Where’s the light of my life?’

I keep asking, my knees getting weaker

/

I will leave You at night: with the river I’ll walk

To the sea and dive into its copper

Waters smelling of cold, waters swarming with rocks:

I will whisper my prayers to Your waters

The Awakening

I let it go,

The dream I held so close

To heart

/

I can’t be sure

That in this life I’ll ever

Have another

/

It was a dream

That beautifully highlighted

Who I was

/

It was a wish

That, like the rushing time,

Propelled me forward

/

I let it go

And, suddenly, I feel

Alive again

/

I was so sure

The loss would be too much

To overcome

/

That I held on

To something which brought out

The worst in me

/

And thought I was

Naught more than just a fleeting

Common dream

/

I was so wrong:

I’m more than my perception

Of myself

/

I am the truth

That cannot be destroyed

By what won’t be

The Ship in the Distance

Are you the mirror image of me?

Or a just a rusty ship lost at sea?

Do you follow the horizon around

The globe, like me, for nowhere bound?

Do you still remember the feel

Of shallow water under your heavy keel?

Or have you left your past at the port,

Wanting nothing, fearing no one and naught?

What are you  hiding under your decks?

Is it gold? Oil? Voices of the ghosts of dead wrecks?

Will your secrets, like those I keep,

Scream inside you while you drown in the deep?

Early Spring by the Sea

Still blue with cold you are
As winter lingers
Upon your shores and
Upon my shoulders

/

Roofs glow gray in the rain
And empty buildings
Await their dwellers,
Warm like the summer

/

Plain faces, pale as spring
Seem starved for feelings
To help them blossom
To give new meanings

/

To the most ancient rhythm
Of changing cycles,
And closing circles
Of dreams and failures