The Hangman Game

Is this, today – tomorrow?

Or just another day of yesterday?

My coffee smells no different,

The cloud outside is not a different shade of gray


It hasn’t moved, it hasn’t changed

As if someone played hangman in the sky

And left the puzzle hanging, partly solved,

Giving me food for thought and an excuse to cry


I cannot feel I’m growing older

The numbing high of similarities again invades my veins,

Convincing me that I’ll exist like this forever

And I believe, and I don’t care – and it is all the same


Can I make this, today – into tomorrow?

And not another version of a thousand days I’ve known

If I endeavour to resolve the hangman’s puzzle

Will I escape his heavy cloud that wouldn’t let me grow?

4 thoughts on “The Hangman Game

  1. I studied history, religion and philosophy. You have captured the very essence of existentialism in a few dozen words. What you have done is quite profound in my opinion and I am not easily impressed. May I add you to my blog roll? Sarte, Camus, Kierkergaard, Nietzsche, Dostoevsky and Marcel would give you an A+. I wonder if there is particular irony here that the poem came from the pen of a Russian?

  2. You’re too kind, Carl, thank you. You can certainly add me to your blog roll.
    I think I’ve always been ‘a bit of’ an existentialist: the atmosphere of St. Petersburg, Dostoyevsky’s and my own home city, is conductive to developing this particular attitude to thinking and to life in general. It probably didn’t help that I preferred The Brothers Karamazov to Cinderella while growing up. Many of my early university papers cited the philosophers you mention here. It’s hardly surprising that a lot of my writing is still inspired by existentialist thought.

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