My feet scarred from crossing
A cold crystal spring,
I wander into
An emerald forest
/
Under turquoise sky
Coral berries and leaves
Glow red in the sun
Like the red prints my feet leave
/
Hungry, gaunt agate wolves
Lick the black diamond soil
Behind me and howl
At moonstones in my eyes
/
And my weak human heart
In the world made of stone
Begs that I turn and run
But I can’t, mesmerised
I beg you, mirror, do not cry!
Don’t give this empty room the pleasure
Of witnessing your glass tears slide
Down my glass face, and fall, and shatter;
/
Don’t let it see me on my knees,
Bereft of purpose, hope and meaning,
Struggling to breathe and not to scream
Under this low, old, crumbling ceiling;
/
Don’t let my room remember that
Like others, I sometimes have moments
Of weakness, and forget my strength –
If it remembers, I’ll be homeless;
/
Reflect my eyes in yours as dry,
My lips, pressed shut, as if they’re smiling;
Help me pretend that I am fine,
That here, in me, there’s light still shining
Whatever gods you pray to, pray for me
Believe in something for a day – for me
My mouth, you see, is sealed forever now
I couldn’t even say my own ‘good-bye’
/
In early spring smile at the sea for me,
Still cold but open to the warming light;
In summer build a house of sand for me,
In autumn make me a bouquet of leaves,
/
In winter dance alone or dance with snow –
The way I used to always dance alone –
And then, again, pray to whatever gods you know
For me, who never really learnt to speak
Among the timeless lands of ice
You rise –
I kneel before you
/
I’ve walked so far already but there seems
To be no end
To trails that brought me here
/
Does any lead to you?
/
Among the countless rolling rocks
You stand,
Unmoved and moving
/
Away from me who cannot help
But reach,
And reach for you
/
Mother of all my dreams
My eyes are evil
For they show me
The glow of hope
A million miles away
/
My hands are evil:
Things they touch are
All dust and clay,
Mirages in hot air
/
My feet are evil:
Leaving myriads of prints
On twisted paths
They do nothing but hurt
/
My heart is evil
For its changing rhythm
With long and longer
Silences is fraught
/
My mouth is evil
For it houses
Whole tomes of cruel
Hurtful words
/
My mind is evil
For it tells me
That evil, too, can
Somehow be a good
