This night,
It hasn’t dressed me for the morning:
I’m still in a cocoon
Of interwoven blacks and blues
/
Staring at dawn,
I cannot feel daylight returning,
Or touching me –
It’s just a colour, of no use
/
To me,
A terribly disturbed spectator,
Watching an artist’s brush,
Envying him his muse
/
To me,
Self-tried and sentenced perpetrator,
Sharing the maze-like cell
With my self-righteous jury
/
Tonight
I put my hands over my eyes and
I sew them up
With threads as strong as needles
/
I lock my nightmares
From the outside world within me:
They’ll be
The only things I see for years
/
I’ll write of them
And paint them with my blind hands;
One day
I’ll hear you ask me: ‘what is that?’
/
I won’t reply;
With monsters pushing through
My numb lips,
I’ll go to sleep in my cocoon instead
Definitely the torment felt by Van Gogh if one has the ability to empathize. Is that one of his paintings? If not the artist has captured the style most accurately.
Thanks for your comment, Carl! It’s one of my favourite paintings – ‘At Eternity’s Gate’; Van Gogh shot himself within a few days of finishing this piece.
Very intense emotions conveyed within the poem…quite strong.
Thank you for your response, kind and encouraging as always!