I Thought…

It’s all my fault! I thought

That I would bring you joy,

Not sorrow;

/

Not anger, jealousy,

Not ill thoughts,

Not regret;

/

I gave you what I thought

You needed; and yet, in doing so,

I’m sorry, I fell short;

/

I thought that I was helping –

I was stirring emotions, which

Should not have been disturbed

/

My good intentions – as they often are –

Were insufficient; I thought

That I could do you good

/

I thought,

I thought,

I thought…

Enemies

Come forward,

You,

Whom I dread;

/

Look into my eyes

At the

Reflection of yourself;

/

Come closer,

And watch your reflection

Become my eyes;

/

Let your anger and hatred

Embrace me;

Strangle me with your spite;

/

But then,

When my breathing

Grows weaker,

/

Remember that,

As I fall,

My eyes closing meekly,

/

You, too,

Can no longer

Stand;

/

You are

No enemy

To me

/

I am

Not alien

To you

The Cloud

You sink into a cloud of mist,

Becoming memory

And leaving on my heart another scar

/

I let you go; I wish you won’t

Remember me:

My ugly face, my ugly thoughts, the ugly way I laugh…

/

I love you, though, I don’t

Deserve to love you,

And dream of you without reserve or shame

/

As your way vanishes in clouds, I run

Farther, and farther –

I’m running from the hope that you would follow me

Start/Stop

I am not cold –

I am the cold:

The ice I touch

Is the heart hidden from me

/

I’m not in pain –

I am the pain,

And I devour me,

The sufferer turned suffering

/

I’m not alone –

I’m solitude itself,

Sitting in empty rooms,

Talking with her mouth closed

/

I am not dying –

I am being born;

I’m starting nothing –

I have never stopped