I Thought…

It’s all my fault! I thought

That I would bring you joy,

Not sorrow;


Not anger, jealousy,

Not ill thoughts,

Not regret;


I gave you what I thought

You needed; and yet, in doing so,

I’m sorry, I fell short;


I thought that I was helping –

I was stirring emotions, which

Should not have been disturbed


My good intentions – as they often are –

Were insufficient; I thought

That I could do you good


I thought,

I thought,

I thought…


Come forward,


Whom I dread;


Look into my eyes

At the

Reflection of yourself;


Come closer,

And watch your reflection

Become my eyes;


Let your anger and hatred

Embrace me;

Strangle me with your spite;


But then,

When my breathing

Grows weaker,


Remember that,

As I fall,

My eyes closing meekly,


You, too,

Can no longer



You are

No enemy

To me


I am

Not alien

To you

The Cloud

You sink into a cloud of mist,

Becoming memory

And leaving on my heart another scar


I let you go; I wish you won’t

Remember me:

My ugly face, my ugly thoughts, the ugly way I laugh…


I love you, though, I don’t

Deserve to love you,

And dream of you without reserve or shame


As your way vanishes in clouds, I run

Farther, and farther –

I’m running from the hope that you would follow me


I am not cold –

I am the cold:

The ice I touch

Is the heart hidden from me


I’m not in pain –

I am the pain,

And I devour me,

The sufferer turned suffering


I’m not alone –

I’m solitude itself,

Sitting in empty rooms,

Talking with her mouth closed


I am not dying –

I am being born;

I’m starting nothing –

I have never stopped