Have you returned

Ever

Or is this shell before me

But an empty

Vessel,

Which waves of time

Have carried to the shore?

/

In the storms

You’ve weathered

Have you been able to preserve

From certain

Drowning

Your heart – your precious gift,

Your heavy burden?

/

Sleeping with Death

Nightly

I fear you may have found

In her calm eyes

The peace and quiet, which

Unlike me,

Would never let you go?

/

Can you even

Hear me,

Standing before me as you are:

Callously smiling

At questions, which to you

Must sound

Pathetic and naïve?

/

I listen,

I listen…

And only wish I had for you

A soothing answer:

Can’t say the words

You wait and want

From me:

/

I have returned,

Truly,

As much of me, that is,

As there remains,

But, surely, much it is not

And none of it

Is good

/

No ropes, no anchors,

No sails

And no one at the helm

To steer it,

That’s me, the vessel, which at last

Has found this beautiful,

Long-dreamed-of port

/

The vessel’s vaults

Are all empty;

Not even rats now lurk across

Its rotten insides,

Where no one enters, 

Save for winds

And ghosts

/

Its cannons

Are quiet

But painful to behold,

Like memories,

Too wild and full-blooded

To ever loose themselves

Amongst the rest

/

Forgive me for coming

Back:

I only did because

The day I’d left I’d promised

I would return,

And you’d sworn

You would wait

/

Yes,

I remember:

‘I promise to return,’ you said,

And I replied that

I would wait for you forever;

The words, the love, the hope

The good intentions…

/

All – wet gunpowder in the stores

Of life;

Small rescue rafts, too light

For real seas;

I prayed for you – you know? – through every day,

Shuddered in fear – you hear? – through every night

While I’ve been waiting;

I am waiting still

***

The original ‘I Promise’ is here: https://sixthsymph.com/2012/06/27/i-promise/