But…

You sit by my bedside like vultures

And you grasp my hands tight, when I

Pretend that I have the strength to

Step out of your house – into life

/

You sing to me songs of oblivion;

When I can no longer fight off sleep,

You fill my dreams to the brim

With what sometimes may seem

Like an escape, a grim kind of freedom

/

You drag my thoughts downwards with you,

Whispering, ‘you are already gone’;

Ghosts and demons of hope,

You’ve bound me with the strongest rope,

Through the pain it’s just you I can hear

/

And I’m barely holding on;

And I’m all but going insane;

I’m forgetting my loved ones’ names

And how good it felt to be loved;

And you say to me: ‘it’s ok’,

And I almost believe you, but…

12 thoughts on “But…

    1. I was thinking of sufferers of cancer and other ailments, which take long to cure and require very serious treatments, when I wrote this poem.
      The ropes may be the deasease itself, or the painful medical treatments, on which one’s survival depends, or simply the grim thoughts of death and failure, which are so incredibly hard to keep at bay day after day, week after week, month after month.
      The poem does touch on the issue of addiction – dependence on something external for survival, which is ultimately destructive.
      Thank you for that interesting thought, Carl!

  1. I, like Carl, originally thought this was about substance abuse, but reread it with fresh eyes after seeing your comment, and now have a different appreciation of the emotion expressed. Well done.

    1. Thank you kindly for reading and taking the time to review the poem!
      The way I write is my experience; the way you read is yours. It is really exciting and inetresting for me to explore the different possible interpretations of my writing with my readers here! Beautiful to see, too, how we can and do understand each other through dialogue!

      1. I am sorry you felt that The Grapes of Wrath was a picker-upper after reading my poem :)! I have never seen the movie, but it is a great book!

        I’ll probably go and watch the film now: I am sure it will hurt less, if I just look outside of myself for a minute and realize that my pain is nothing comared to some others’.

        Thank you for asking, Sana! Appreciate your being here!

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