To Hold

I know, you will not recognize me

For it was ages ago

That for a day we said good-bye and

For a lifetime each other lost;

/

I wear my age upon my face now,

And hunch under the weight of time,

But you are just as I recall:

As beautiful as spring in prime;

/

My dreams like autumn leaves have fallen

Upon cold ground for all to tread,

While yours, it seems to me, have blossomed

Like flowers in a fresh bouquet;

/

How you have lived I want to ask you,

As in my hand I hold your hand,

And at this moment – turn back time and

Stay by your side, which I once abandoned;

/

Then, today would we walk together,

Laughing at our private jokes?

Would my world – you – be small but happy?

Would I for you be a good home?

/

In vain I wonder, for my choices

I made a lifetime ago,

When for a day I said good-bye and

Lost my beacon in an array of storms;

/

They left me crazy and disfigured,

They tore my flesh and broke my heart –

I cannot even recognize me

When, swiftly as they come, the hurricanes are gone;

/

You walk on by, and I’ll keep walking –

Must be, into another storm;

I wish you love, and light, and joy,

And in the lifetime to come

/

I wish to ask you how you lived and

In my hand yours again to hold

4 thoughts on “To Hold

    1. Carl, I may ‘only’ be 29, but I understand how you feel, I think. Just a few weeks ago I went on a 7-day holiday to Nepal (which had been my home for 3 years, as you might recall), and came back as a completely different person. I don’t hate changing, but it confuses and tires me. On some days, however, it actually makes me happy – knowing that there is still so much more to being me in particular and human in general.

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