At the Ballroom

“Will you, please, dance with me?” I ask you;

It may be wild of me, but hey,

Tonight, at last, I’m feeling brave –

Enough to look you in the face;

/

You will say yes for you believe that

I can’t keep up with you – you’re right,

But I will learn, so it’s ok if I lose my step

And fall, and find it difficult to rise;

/

My fear, you, my eternal partner,

You are the first, you are the last,

You choose the place, the time, the music,

You choose the dance, you lead, and I…

/

I move whichever way you move me,

And you’re an expert puppeteer:

No one can even tell it isn’t

Me who is dancing but the fear;

/

In your embrace I suffocate but,

I am so used to it, I think

That is the way that dancing should be:

Leaving one feeling worthless and weak;

/

“Will you, please, dance with me?” I ask you,

I have gone mad, perhaps, but hey,

I want to know the dance of life

Without your claws perpetually sunk me,

/

You will say yes, and I will tremble,

And stumble, and not know the steps,

You’re laughing now, but you can’t laugh forever;

There has to come a day you can’t keep up with me;

Snow White

I take a little bite every day

Of the poisoned apple that you gave me,

And die a little bit when I do

Still smiling, though, when I see that

You are happy

/

My insides burn, my heartbeat slows down

And ghosts come to bedside at night

Believing I am one of their kind –

No matter, because I see that

You are happy

/

My skin is grey and my hands are weak,

My tears have dried inside of my eyes,

I think that, in secret from us both, I hate us both,

But I forget it when I see that

You are happy

/
When I have finished eating myself

Alive, what with will I feed your joy,

When I have nothing left of me to destroy

For you to remain at ease,

And happy?

/

To keep you this way, I must swallow poison;

To earn your “love”, I must kill myself,

But slowly, so you’d watch me and see

Me lose for you the Love and Power

I was born with;

/

What you call happiness isn’t it, I feel;

And what you call love’s merely greed,

Your power is a fortress of fear,

And those you lead, you’re leading through hell

To a deeper hell

/

Take back the crown of gold you bestowed

On me, for giving up my garland of light;

I do not want yet to go to sleep,

Not even in a coffin made of diamonds

And dreams

/

I’m sorry, but I’m going to go now;

I don’t know where but I do know why:

I want to learn, to touch and to feel

True happiness, not this of your kind,

And maybe

/

I will

Wake Up!

I’ve never seen you like this before,

As a little girl in the corner of a round room, bawling;

Loveless and helpless, lost and forgotten,

You scared me awake when I saw you;

/

I’m sorry, I’m afraid to step closer

Because I will not know how to hold you:

I do not have the words to console you

Nor the gentle touch of basic compassion;

/

Forgive me, I can’t run to your rescue

To lead you out of this vicious circle;

Like a fortress, I’m built to protect you

Until the day you outgrow my tall walls;

/

And till that day, I promise to guard you,

To keep you safe while your strength is growing,

To slay for you a million demons – or saints

Because you are all that matters;

/

My hands and weapons will never tire,

I will not falter at the sight of blood nor pain –

To give you all the time that you need to

Remember I’m a dream you are dreaming;

/

Wake up, wake up, wake up,

To your freedom!

Following a Shadow

I am still stumbling in your footsteps;

I see you, but you’re out of reach,

I call you, but in my heart only

Because I know you do not want to hear;

/

Forever following a shadow;

Exhausted, falling to my knees

Onto the mountain path lost in clouds,

Your back forever turned on me;

/

And driven mad by this ringing silence –

Yours and mine, and this of the space around –

I fail to realise we’ve long since made it off the mountain,

And there’s no need to live a life so loveless;

/

Yet, I’m still walking in blurred footsteps

On mountain paths that my imagination draws,

Forever chasing the changing shadows,

Whose backs, turned on me, feel like yours

The Forest

And the forest grew thicker

With each step that I took,

And the howling grew deeper

Of the ghosts and the wolves

As I danced off the path

With my eyes on the moon,

Wild with joy, full of fear,

Not sure whether blessed or doomed;

/

When night clouds hid the moon

From the eyes of my mind,

I reached into my chest,

And my heart as a light,

Beating loud, burning bright,

I took into my hands –

And it showed me the forest

Like no other light had;

/

When the first morning rays

Touched the leaves of the trees

In the forest of time,

Which had enchanted me,

I remembered myself

And walked back to my world,

But since that night I know

What’s a dream, and what’s not