As I Recall

As I recall you,
You are so much better
Than the stranger,
Who stands before me now;
/
Your eyes are clearer,
Unclouded with regret, and
You smile so wide, so often;
Now – small and sometimes;
/
You are much younger,
Braver in your gait and speech, while
Today your sight chases the short
And cautious steps you make hesitantly
/
Tell me, who stole the face,
Which I was unashamed of?
Who broke the heart of steel,
Which never failed?
/
Who put you in the black clothes
You are wearing?
Who forced you to adopt the skin,
That shows no signs of living?
/
As I recall you,
You are so much better,
Than to be told or ordered
Anything;
/
I stare and stare,
And hardly recognize you,
The woman in the mirror,
Looking back quietly
/
As I recall me,
I am so much better
Than her, who moves her lips
Yet, says nothing

Postcards from …

There are skeletons in my closet,

There’s an elephant in the room;

There’s something in the air and water;

Whispers spread as blue evening blooms

 /

I sit cross-legged in the corner

On the floor, where my fevered dreams

Lie before me, dissected, rotting,

Magic stolen from them – by me

 /

So I cut and paste back together

Mountain peaks, bullrings, oceans, ice

Smiling faces, well-wishes, curses,

Universities, slums, loves, lies…

 /

And the skeletons in my closet

Start to dance to forgotten chants

And the elephant kneels before me;

Smiling, we travel through my past

 /

To the time I believed in magic

And knew how to fulfil a dream;

Watching myself change, scared, I notice

 That I’ve grown tired, cold and meek