As I Recall

As I recall you,
You are so much better
Than the stranger,
Who stands before me now;
Your eyes are clearer,
Unclouded with regret, and
You smile so wide, so often;
Now – small and sometimes;
You are much younger,
Braver in your gait and speech, while
Today your sight chases the short
And cautious steps you make hesitantly
Tell me, who stole the face,
Which I was unashamed of?
Who broke the heart of steel,
Which never failed?
Who put you in the black clothes
You are wearing?
Who forced you to adopt the skin,
That shows no signs of living?
As I recall you,
You are so much better,
Than to be told or ordered
I stare and stare,
And hardly recognize you,
The woman in the mirror,
Looking back quietly
As I recall me,
I am so much better
Than her, who moves her lips
Yet, says nothing

Postcards from …

There are skeletons in my closet,

There’s an elephant in the room;

There’s something in the air and water;

Whispers spread as blue evening blooms


I sit cross-legged in the corner

On the floor, where my fevered dreams

Lie before me, dissected, rotting,

Magic stolen from them – by me


So I cut and paste back together

Mountain peaks, bullrings, oceans, ice

Smiling faces, well-wishes, curses,

Universities, slums, loves, lies…


And the skeletons in my closet

Start to dance to forgotten chants

And the elephant kneels before me;

Smiling, we travel through my past


To the time I believed in magic

And knew how to fulfil a dream;

Watching myself change, scared, I notice

 That I’ve grown tired, cold and meek