The Monster

So often hurt would follow laughter;

At times a smile would help a tear dry faster;

By different people uttered, the same words

Sound wise in one voice, in another one – absurd;

/

On a dark winter day a ray of sunshine

Would offer solace, hope and joy;

While on an afternoon in summer

It may feel like but an annoyance;

/

Today you think I am a monster,

Who knows no empathy or love;

Tomorrow you might change your mind but,

Unlike today, you might be wrong

To Hold

I know, you will not recognize me

For it was ages ago

That for a day we said good-bye, and

For a lifetime each other lost;

/

I wear my age upon my face now

And hunch under the weight of time,

But you are just as I recall:

As beautiful as spring in prime;

/

My dreams like autumn leaves have fallen

Upon cold ground for all to tread,

While yours, it seems to me, have blossomed

Like flowers in a fresh bouquet;

/

How you have lived I want to ask you

As in my hand I hold your hand,

And at this moment – turn back time, and

Stay by your side, which I once abandoned;

/

Then, today would we walk together,

Laughing at our private jokes?

Would my world, you, be small but happy?

Would I for you be a good home?

/

In vain I wonder, for my choices

I made a lifetime ago,

When for a day I said good-bye, and

Lost my beacon in an array of storms;

/

They left me crazy and disfigured,

They tore my flesh and broke my heart;

I cannot even recognize me

When, swiftly as they come, the hurricanes are gone;

/

You walk on by, and I’ll keep walking –

Must be, into another storm;

I wish you love, and light, and joy, and

In the lifetime to come

/

I wish to ask you how you lived and

In my hand yours again to hold

Ten

Sunset in the VisayasI’m building castles

In the sand

Like I’m a little girl

Again

/

I swim forth

Without looking back,

Trusting warm, silky waves

Again

/

I sit and stare

At sunset lights

Dancing with the moon

Into the night

/

And it’s as if

I never left,

And never aged,

And never died

/

Nine quiet deaths

/

I’m building castles

In the sand,

With dry old hands,

And a dry old heart

/

I swim forth

Without looking back,

Knowing the hells

I leave behind

/

I sit and stare

At sunset lights

That fade the way

All fades away

/

It feels like I’ve

Been gone forever,

And like I didn’t

Quite make it back

/

This – tenth – time