At the Ballroom

“Will you, please, dance with me?” I ask you;

It may be wild of me, but hey,

Tonight, at last, I’m feeling brave –

Enough to look you in the face;

/

You will say yes for you believe that

I can’t keep up with you – you’re right,

But I will learn, so it’s ok if I lose my step

And fall, and find it difficult to rise;

/

My fear, you, my eternal partner,

You are the first, you are the last,

You choose the place, the time, the music,

You choose the dance, you lead, and I…

/

I move whichever way you move me,

And you’re an expert puppeteer:

No one can even tell it isn’t

Me who is dancing but the fear;

/

In your embrace I suffocate but,

I am so used to it, I think

That is the way that dancing should be:

Leaving one feeling worthless and weak;

/

“Will you, please, dance with me?” I ask you,

I have gone mad, perhaps, but hey,

I want to know the dance of life

Without your claws perpetually sunk me,

/

You will say yes, and I will tremble,

And stumble, and not know the steps,

You’re laughing now, but you can’t laugh forever;

There has to come a day you can’t keep up with me;

The Forest

And the forest grew thicker

With each step that I took,

And the howling grew deeper

Of the ghosts and the wolves

As I danced off the path

With my eyes on the moon,

Wild with joy, full of fear,

Not sure whether blessed or doomed;

/

When night clouds hid the moon

From the eyes of my mind,

I reached into my chest,

And my heart as a light,

Beating loud, burning bright,

I took into my hands –

And it showed me the forest

Like no other light had;

/

When the first morning rays

Touched the leaves of the trees

In the forest of time,

Which had enchanted me,

I remembered myself

And walked back to my world,

But since that night I know

What’s a dream, and what’s not

The Pretender

One day you pretended to be

Strong;

One day you pretended to be

Brave;

One day you  pretended you could

Know;

One day you pretended to be

 Me;

/

That day you got broken

In every place;

That day every demon

Took notice of your face;

That day you knew how great was

Your ignorance,

And yet you refused

To stop pretending;

/

And as you healed,

You found strength;

And as you met your demons,

You made friends with fear;

And as you learned,

You grew honest,

And thus you truly

Summoned me:

/

Because you,

Who was so fragile,

Who used to be scared

Of her shadow,

Who felt unworthy

Of knowledge,

Played me

With such deadly abandon;

/

I have come,

And I’ll always protect you,

Be for you a shoulder

To lean on;

You’ve made it so

I could never leave you;

Mine are the eyes

That look back from your mirror

Summer Storms

Come, summer thunderstorms, and shield me

So not a pair of eyes can see

My eyes that are becoming lightnings

Burning through darkness from within!

/

Roar, oh night thunders, like the times are ending!

Lost in your voice, I’ll freely chant my prayers:

I cannot have the silent overhear them

Because the silent would die of fear;

/

The sea of truth, which from me guards my memory

For it is much too turbulent to swim in,

Rise up tonight in waves uncontainable!

I’ll drink you whole and thus will give you peace;

/

Oh rain, the skies’ tears of release,

You will not hurt me, don’t hold back, I plead!

Fall bravely from your heavy clouds, fall gladly

To taste the air, the earth, and the human heartbeat;

/

Come, summer thunderstorms, and hold me!

You are my solace from the world

Of lowered eyes, of quiet voices, of hidden truths,

Of tears not cried

The Night Fires

Upon a bridge between two blazing fires

I stand and watch the heavy river flow;

One fire soars like hope into the open night skies,

The other one burns low, licking life off the earth;

/

I stand and know that I must pick a side;

I wish it was, but it is no longer my choice:

The fire ceremony, like the elements’ song, or the funeral pyre

The soulful prayer or the ultimate acknowledgment of loss…

/

Suspended halfway over running waters,

I will remind myself I’ve said my honest prayers,

And they were pleas for a path to freedom and to courage;

I see that path now: how and where it goes…

/

I took one step, so I will take another,

Walk all the way from twilight, and into the dark;

I fear, I fear it so intensely,

That on my fear I am becoming drunk;

/

And with each step my heart is beating faster,

And with each breath my being overflows with dread;

Closing my eyes I turn into a flame,

With ashes dancing;

/

I’m she, who dwells inside the fire,

She who shines more the more she burns