Too Bad/Too Late

I will return to where I left you

And in your place find my regret;

I stepped aside to let you

Fight your battle,

And ran away

Because I was afraid

/

And now but cold ground’s quiet whispers

Speak unintelligible words,

And rain before my eyes

Paints pictures

Of your heart

Getting mixed with dirt;

/

I’ll stand and watch, I’ll stand and listen,

I’ll stand and wonder, how on Earth

My weakness

Could have forced me to abandon

Someone I loved

At their monsters’ mercy;

/

Now I will never know for certain

If you have lost or you have won;

I won’t have witnessed

The despair, joy and courage,

With which, I’m wanting to believe,

You fought;

/

I will come back to where we parted

When I am wise, and strong, and brave;

Too bad –

If that’s ever to happen,

To save us both

It will be much too late

The Suit of Lights

Behind closed doors and drawn blinds,

In the midst of this man-made twilight,

I’m putting on my suit of lights*,

My fragile armor;

/

Woven of silk thread, decorated

With pearls and diamonds,

It is designed not to protect the wearer

But to challenge darkness;

/

It will not stand the test of steel

Nor this of fire,

And through the fine skin-like fabric

Pain and desire

/

Hurt, wound and scar the one, who calls

Upon herself the evil of the world

And, like its axis, stands alone

Inside the whirlwind;

/

Behind closed doors and drawn blinds

In front of a mirror,

Dressed in my suit of lights, I check the fit

Before the devil sees me;

/

Its fabric glows, its diamonds shine,

Its white pearls glimmer;

It will be torn; I will be killed,

Yet, my heart sings as if I were the winner

*Suit of lights or traje de luces[1] is the traditional clothing that Spanish bullfighters (toreros, picadors and rejoneadors) wear in the bullring. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traje_de_luces)

The Gift

I will show you your great courage,

I will teach you to see beauty,

I’ll gift you with a smile as bright

As the Sun’s, round whom dances the Universe;

/

But the wings I will give you will cost you your legs;

The truths I’ll share with you will be hammered like nails

Into the old, cracked, yet stubborn walls of your mind,

Built of prejudice and recycled thoughts;

/

I will grant you the Wind’s freedom,

Turn your voice into a wild Thunder;

I’ll reforge your heart into one as strong

As this of the Earth-Mother;

/

But the strength you will have will be tested each day;

The light in your eyes will draw darkness and pain,

And the love that will live in your chest must survive

The tests of indifference, of hatred, of time…

/

I offer you these gifts freely;

I offer you these burdens, heavy;

Will you take them from me bravely

Or pretend that you can’t hear me?

The Flight

Where have you carried me now,
Wings?
If I stay here, I will
Freeze,
If I leave, I will bear on my scarred face
For years
The haunting stamp of what I’ve
Seen;
And nobody will come
Close
To someone, whose eyes are home
To ghosts;
/
Much too far you have carried me,
Wings,
Much too close
To the other side;
Much too brave I have been
Where I should have been wise;
Now it’s too late to listen
To fear
Or to hope to survive
This flight