Following a Shadow

I am still stumbling in your footsteps;

I see you, but you’re out of reach,

I call you, but in my heart only

Because I know you do not want to hear;

/

Forever following a shadow;

Exhausted, falling to my knees

Onto the mountain path lost in clouds,

Your back forever turned on me;

/

And driven mad by this ringing silence –

Yours and mine, and this of the space around –

I fail to realise we’ve long since made it off the mountain,

And there’s no need to live a life so loveless;

/

Yet, I’m still walking in blurred footsteps

On mountain paths that my imagination draws,

Forever chasing the changing shadows,

Whose backs, turned on me, feel like yours

The Habit

I have to ask you

Not to ask me

If it hurts –

/

Pain has become

Less of a feeling

And more of mere word;

/

It walks me home,

It sleeps with me

And holds my hand

/

Keeping at bay

The creeping fear

That I have nothing left;

/

You say I seem

To love my pain;

I wish that this was true;

/

What’s true’s that all I ever wanted

Hurt, challenged,

Broke or bruised;

/

You see, I wasn’t

Made to live

The dreams of greater men,

/

And this was why

I had to make

A habit out of pain