I take a little bite every day
Of the poisoned apple that you gave me,
And die a little bit when I do
Still smiling, though, when I see that
You are happy
/
My insides burn, my heartbeat slows down
And ghosts come to bedside at night
Believing I am one of their kind –
No matter, because I see that
You are happy
/
My skin is grey and my hands are weak,
My tears have dried inside of my eyes,
I think that, in secret from us both, I hate us both,
But I forget it when I see that
You are happy
/
When I have finished eating myself
Alive, what with will I feed your joy,
When I have nothing left of me to destroy
For you to remain at ease,
And happy?
/
To keep you this way, I must swallow poison;
To earn your “love”, I must kill myself,
But slowly, so you’d watch me and see
Me lose for you the Love and Power
I was born with;
/
What you call happiness isn’t it, I feel;
And what you call love’s merely greed,
Your power is a fortress of fear,
And those you lead, you’re leading through hell
To a deeper hell
/
Take back the crown of gold you bestowed
On me, for giving up my garland of light;
I do not want yet to go to sleep,
Not even in a coffin made of diamonds
And dreams
/
I’m sorry, but I’m going to go now;
I don’t know where but I do know why:
I want to learn, to touch and to feel
True happiness, not this of your kind,
And maybe
/
I will