Snow White

I take a little bite every day

Of the poisoned apple that you gave me,

And die a little bit when I do

Still smiling, though, when I see that

You are happy

/

My insides burn, my heartbeat slows down

And ghosts come to bedside at night

Believing I am one of their kind –

No matter, because I see that

You are happy

/

My skin is grey and my hands are weak,

My tears have dried inside of my eyes,

I think that, in secret from us both, I hate us both,

But I forget it when I see that

You are happy

/
When I have finished eating myself

Alive, what with will I feed your joy,

When I have nothing left of me to destroy

For you to remain at ease,

And happy?

/

To keep you this way, I must swallow poison;

To earn your “love”, I must kill myself,

But slowly, so you’d watch me and see

Me lose for you the Love and Power

I was born with;

/

What you call happiness isn’t it, I feel;

And what you call love’s merely greed,

Your power is a fortress of fear,

And those you lead, you’re leading through hell

To a deeper hell

/

Take back the crown of gold you bestowed

On me, for giving up my garland of light;

I do not want yet to go to sleep,

Not even in a coffin made of diamonds

And dreams

/

I’m sorry, but I’m going to go now;

I don’t know where but I do know why:

I want to learn, to touch and to feel

True happiness, not this of your kind,

And maybe

/

I will

The Brushstrokes

It’s all a dream:

The lowest moments

And the greatest,

The imperfections

And the changes

Made by the mind

To what was by the mind,

Confused,

Created;

/

It doesn’t hurt, really,

When in my nightmares

Hungry demons

Gnaw at my bones

And rip to pieces

The magic heart

That every morning

I find unfailingly

Beating in my chest;

/

It is all a mirage:

This face, this body,

Their existence

And their ultimate

Disintegration;

There’s nothing wrong

With pieces breaking,

Cracks manifesting

On the unforgiving skin

/

Painted over

Emptiness

In thick colors

Of fear

Named and signed

By the artist,

‘Me’ –

Both as a sentence

And a key

/

To freedom

I Remember

I recall the scent of autumn in the sky…
I remember how the wind sang of hope…
Rocks, changing their shapes in the sun…
Mountain springs, equally present and gone…
I remember how it felt
To survive;
/
On that day I was light, water and wind,
Speaking their language — body and mind,
Crying shamelessly and wildly when I
Heard them whisper: “you are not a mistake”;
I remember how it felt
To be alive;
/
I remember reaching the Earth’s
Very burning heart with my fingertips;
My eyes being one with the sun,
I could see without attachment;
I remember
Being loved
/
That day was pure joy
Beyond good and evil –
That one day
Could fill a whole life with meaning;
The day that I stepping over
Oblivion
/
And awakened
From a crumbling dream

Naive

Promise me that I will live forever –

For one long and truly happy day,

When my world, free of all sorrows,

Shall glow and

You’ll be once again in love with me

/

Promise me that I will soar forever,

Shining like a star above the sea,

My reflection dancing, and then drowning

In night waters:

Promise one last time to dance with me

/

Promise you will stay with me for good –

Until the time I close my eyes to sleep:

Whisper to my slowing heart the name

Chomolungma –

The name of my life, a lonely dream

/

When the dusk’s blue arms embrace my sun, I

Promise that I will not be afraid:

I have lived today the blissful lie called

‘Forever’ –

I won’t stay to watch it lose

Its naive face

The One, Who Laughs

In you, who never ceases to laugh,

I recognize the Goddess of Sorrow,

Having bowed at your feet a million times,

I’d know your gait among a million others;

/

Wherever you may go, like a shadow,

The shadow of the Goddess of Sorrow,

I follow, changing sides as the sun does,

Loosing you for a moment at noon;

/

I walk with you towards your lost altar,

Where memories of joy lie abandoned,

Dissected by your sharp nails, which, like mine,

Posses the power to drain warmth out of life;

/

You dance upon them – leaves of your autumn,

Trample on them like enemy armies,

Kneel before them, like gods of your fathers,

Trying to breathe life back into dust;

/

Your empty temple, Goddess of Sorrow,

Is built upon a solid foundation

Of loneliness, of fear, of obsession

With happiness, which simply can’t last;

/

All gods have fallen, temples have crumbled

All altars have been washed of delusions;

But not your altar, Goddess of Sorrow –

You will forever have cause to laugh