illness
Protected: Bitter Sixteen
Protected: Of Clouds and Mountains
Behind the Mirror
I close my eyes, and slowly vanish
Into the void between my breaths,
And as if from behind the mirror
I see my face
As this of death;
/
She breaks free from the chains of names,
Cuts through the binding ropes of time,
Rips off the clothes of my ego,
And starts to move away,
Calling along my mind;
/
I scream at her:
You cannot go now!
Don’t leave just because you can leave!
Do not discard this destroyed body
When it still has more light to give!
/
These eyes again, please, help me open,
With night air fill this sunken chest,
I’m nothing but a cloud of smoke, but
I cannot cross the magic mirror,
And join you on your side yet
To Hold
I know, you will not recognize me
For it was ages ago
That for a day we said good-bye, and
For a lifetime each other lost;
/
I wear my age upon my face now
And hunch under the weight of time,
But you are just as I recall:
As beautiful as spring in prime;
/
My dreams like autumn leaves have fallen
Upon cold ground for all to tread,
While yours, it seems to me, have blossomed
Like flowers in a fresh bouquet;
/
How you have lived I want to ask you
As in my hand I hold your hand,
And at this moment – turn back time, and
Stay by your side, which I once abandoned;
/
Then, today would we walk together,
Laughing at our private jokes?
Would my world, you, be small but happy?
Would I for you be a good home?
/
In vain I wonder, for my choices
I made a lifetime ago,
When for a day I said good-bye, and
Lost my beacon in an array of storms;
/
They left me crazy and disfigured,
They tore my flesh and broke my heart;
I cannot even recognize me
When, swiftly as they come, the hurricanes are gone;
/
You walk on by, and I’ll keep walking –
Must be, into another storm;
I wish you love, and light, and joy, and
In the lifetime to come
/
I wish to ask you how you lived and
In my hand yours again to hold