The Suit of Lights

Behind closed doors and drawn blinds,

In the midst of this man-made twilight,

I’m putting on my suit of lights*,

My fragile armor;

/

Woven of silk thread, decorated

With pearls and diamonds,

It is designed not to protect the wearer

But to challenge darkness;

/

It will not stand the test of steel

Nor this of fire,

And through the fine skin-like fabric

Pain and desire

/

Hurt, wound and scar the one, who calls

Upon herself the evil of the world

And, like its axis, stands alone

Inside the whirlwind;

/

Behind closed doors and drawn blinds

In front of a mirror,

Dressed in my suit of lights, I check the fit

Before the devil sees me;

/

Its fabric glows, its diamonds shine,

Its white pearls glimmer;

It will be torn; I will be killed,

Yet, my heart sings as if I were the winner

*Suit of lights or traje de luces[1] is the traditional clothing that Spanish bullfighters (toreros, picadors and rejoneadors) wear in the bullring. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traje_de_luces)

I Remember

I recall the scent of autumn in the sky…
I remember how the wind sang of hope…
Rocks, changing their shapes in the sun…
Mountain springs, equally present and gone…
I remember how it felt
To survive;
/
On that day I was light, water and wind,
Speaking their language — body and mind,
Crying shamelessly and wildly when I
Heard them whisper: “you are not a mistake”;
I remember how it felt
To be alive;
/
I remember reaching the Earth’s
Very burning heart with my fingertips;
My eyes being one with the sun,
I could see without attachment;
I remember
Being loved
/
That day was pure joy
Beyond good and evil –
That one day
Could fill a whole life with meaning;
The day that I stepping over
Oblivion
/
And awakened
From a crumbling dream