At the Harbor

I sail away;

There isn’t an anchor

To keep in place

This that no longer has one;

No harbor can contain

The ship, that’s turned

Into the storm, by which

It was all but devoured;

/

I take with me my ghosts

To sing me lullabies

When I cross the horizon

Into the night;

And I take with me my cargo

Of memories,

Which will not slow me now

With their heaviness;

/

I leave for you to play with

Three souvenirs:

My shape, my voice and the name,

By which you knew me;

Maybe, in my stead

You’ll love them unsuspectingly

Or curse them, perhaps, when you sense

That there is something missing;

/

Mine is a cruel joke,

Isn’t it?

Mine is a heartless test

Of your heart;

I do not ask you to forgive

But to laugh with me;

To pass or fail,

But to do so honestly;

/
Trust that

For you I wait

At the horizon

Eternally

Too Bad/Too Late

I will return to where I left you

And in your place find my regret;

I stepped aside to let you

Fight your battle,

And ran away

Because I was afraid

/

And now but cold ground’s quiet whispers

Speak unintelligible words,

And rain before my eyes

Paints pictures

Of your heart

Getting mixed with dirt;

/

I’ll stand and watch, I’ll stand and listen,

I’ll stand and wonder, how on Earth

My weakness

Could have forced me to abandon

Someone I loved

At their monsters’ mercy;

/

Now I will never know for certain

If you have lost or you have won;

I won’t have witnessed

The despair, joy and courage,

With which, I’m wanting to believe,

You fought;

/

I will come back to where we parted

When I am wise, and strong, and brave;

Too bad –

If that’s ever to happen,

To save us both

It will be much too late

To Hold

I know, you will not recognize me

For it was ages ago

That for a day we said good-bye, and

For a lifetime each other lost;

/

I wear my age upon my face now

And hunch under the weight of time,

But you are just as I recall:

As beautiful as spring in prime;

/

My dreams like autumn leaves have fallen

Upon cold ground for all to tread,

While yours, it seems to me, have blossomed

Like flowers in a fresh bouquet;

/

How you have lived I want to ask you

As in my hand I hold your hand,

And at this moment – turn back time, and

Stay by your side, which I once abandoned;

/

Then, today would we walk together,

Laughing at our private jokes?

Would my world, you, be small but happy?

Would I for you be a good home?

/

In vain I wonder, for my choices

I made a lifetime ago,

When for a day I said good-bye, and

Lost my beacon in an array of storms;

/

They left me crazy and disfigured,

They tore my flesh and broke my heart;

I cannot even recognize me

When, swiftly as they come, the hurricanes are gone;

/

You walk on by, and I’ll keep walking –

Must be, into another storm;

I wish you love, and light, and joy, and

In the lifetime to come

/

I wish to ask you how you lived and

In my hand yours again to hold

The Drought

To N. D. R.

Don’t be afraid, you will forget me;

This feeling, by name invoked,

Will wither gradually as distance separates us;

In a succession of white days of drought,

Time will turn into dust the soil,

And into ash the leaves;

/

You will not think of me forever

With the same yearning as today;

When you still saw but couldn’t reach me,

My image growing smaller, features blurring,

Until, frustrated and surprised, you realized

You hardly knew my face;

/

Don’t feel ashamed to let the strings,

Which still tie you to me,

Break, as all things do,

Or to agree with friends, who tell you

That I was nothing special –

It is absolutely true;

/

You can replace me with another,

My spark is not the only light;

Don’t be afraid, you will forget me

When the new spring’s rains feed

The seeds

Of all new life