At the Ballroom

“Will you, please, dance with me?” I ask you;

It may be wild of me, but hey,

Tonight, at last, I’m feeling brave –

Enough to look you in the face;

/

You will say yes for you believe that

I can’t keep up with you – you’re right,

But I will learn, so it’s ok if I lose my step

And fall, and find it difficult to rise;

/

My fear, you, my eternal partner,

You are the first, you are the last,

You choose the place, the time, the music,

You choose the dance, you lead, and I…

/

I move whichever way you move me,

And you’re an expert puppeteer:

No one can even tell it isn’t

Me who is dancing but the fear;

/

In your embrace I suffocate but,

I am so used to it, I think

That is the way that dancing should be:

Leaving one feeling worthless and weak;

/

“Will you, please, dance with me?” I ask you,

I have gone mad, perhaps, but hey,

I want to know the dance of life

Without your claws perpetually sunk me,

/

You will say yes, and I will tremble,

And stumble, and not know the steps,

You’re laughing now, but you can’t laugh forever;

There has to come a day you can’t keep up with me;

Snow White

I take a little bite every day

Of the poisoned apple that you gave me,

And die a little bit when I do

Still smiling, though, when I see that

You are happy

/

My insides burn, my heartbeat slows down

And ghosts come to bedside at night

Believing I am one of their kind –

No matter, because I see that

You are happy

/

My skin is grey and my hands are weak,

My tears have dried inside of my eyes,

I think that, in secret from us both, I hate us both,

But I forget it when I see that

You are happy

/
When I have finished eating myself

Alive, what with will I feed your joy,

When I have nothing left of me to destroy

For you to remain at ease,

And happy?

/

To keep you this way, I must swallow poison;

To earn your “love”, I must kill myself,

But slowly, so you’d watch me and see

Me lose for you the Love and Power

I was born with;

/

What you call happiness isn’t it, I feel;

And what you call love’s merely greed,

Your power is a fortress of fear,

And those you lead, you’re leading through hell

To a deeper hell

/

Take back the crown of gold you bestowed

On me, for giving up my garland of light;

I do not want yet to go to sleep,

Not even in a coffin made of diamonds

And dreams

/

I’m sorry, but I’m going to go now;

I don’t know where but I do know why:

I want to learn, to touch and to feel

True happiness, not this of your kind,

And maybe

/

I will

Wake Up!

I’ve never seen you like this before,

As a little girl in the corner of a round room, bawling;

Loveless and helpless, silenced, forgotten,

You scared me awake when I saw you;

/

I’m sorry, I’m afraid to step closer

Because I will not know how to hold you:

I do not have the words to console you

Nor the gentle touch of basic compassion;

/

Forgive me, I can’t run to your rescue

To lead you out of this vicious circle;

Like a fortress, I’m built to protect you

Until the day you outgrow my tall walls;

/

And till that day, I promise to guard you,

To keep you safe while your strength is growing,

To slay for you a million demons – or saints,

Because you are all that matters;

/

My hands and weapons will never tire,

I will not falter at the sight of blood nor pain –

To give you all the time that you need to

Remember I’m a dream you are dreaming;

/

Wake up, wake up, wake up,

To your freedom!

The Forest

And the forest grew thicker

With each step that I took,

And the howling grew deeper

Of the ghosts and the wolves

As I danced off the path

With my eyes on the moon,

Wild with joy, full of fear,

Not sure whether blessed or doomed;

/

When night clouds hid the moon

From the eyes of my mind,

I reached into my chest,

And my heart as a light,

Beating loud, burning bright,

I took into my hands –

And it showed me the forest

Like no other light had;

/

When the first morning rays

Touched the leaves of the trees

In the forest of time,

Which had enchanted me,

I remembered myself

And walked back to my world,

But since that night I know

What’s a dream, and what’s not

The Pretender

One day you pretended to be

Strong;

One day you pretended to be

Brave;

One day you  pretended you could

Know;

One day you pretended to be

 Me;

/

That day you got broken

In every place;

That day every demon

Took notice of your face;

That day you knew how great was

Your ignorance,

And yet you refused

To stop pretending;

/

And as you healed,

You found strength;

And as you met your demons,

You made friends with fear;

And as you learned,

You grew honest,

And thus you truly

Summoned me:

/

Because you,

Who was so fragile,

Who used to be scared

Of her shadow,

Who felt unworthy

Of knowledge,

Played me

With such deadly abandon;

/

I have come,

And I’ll always protect you,

Be for you a shoulder

To lean on;

You’ve made it so

I could never leave you;

Mine are the eyes

That look back from your mirror