I sat before you in the dark,
Bare, nameless, fearful and courageous;
That night I offered you my all,
Not knowing what might happen if you take it;
/
I sit before you in the dark,
Bare, nameless, fearless, ruined
I love you so, I cannot break
The deadly bond which links you to me;
/
I’ll sit before you in the dark,
Bare, loving, hopeless, lifeless
And reaffirm my every vow:
You heard my voice, you held my hand –
And took my all in your wild kindness
Upon a bridge between two blazing fires
I stand and watch the heavy river flow;
One fire soars like hope into the open night skies,
The other one burns low, licking life off the earth;
/
I stand and know that I must pick a side;
I wish it was, but it is no longer my choice:
The fire ceremony, like the elements’ song, or the funeral pyre
The soulful prayer or the ultimate acknowledgment of loss…
/
Suspended halfway over running waters,
I will remind myself I’ve said my honest prayers,
And they were pleas for a path to freedom and to courage;
I see that path now: how and where it goes…
/
I took one step, so I will take another,
Walk all the way from twilight, and into the dark;
I fear, I fear it so intensely,
That on my fear I am becoming drunk;
/
And with each step my heart is beating faster,
And with each breath my being overflows with dread;
Closing my eyes I turn into a flame,
With ashes dancing;
/
I’m she, who dwells inside the fire,
She who shines more the more she burns
Today
All the prayers have gone unanswered;
The gods, it seems,
Have gone on holiday,
/
Smoking Cuban cigars,
Betting galaxies and lives
As they laugh and play
Russian roulette
/
Today
The world’s been left ungoverned;
The gods, they know
It’s too busy to rebel,
/
Selling and buying souls,
Some dirt-cheap, and others so
High-priced that even the gods
Must bargain for them
/
Today
All the dead’ve been left unburied,
And those who have survived
Have lost their minds;
/
There was no one to pray
To, and nobody to blame,
No role model to abide
By the rules of the game
/
Today
The world has all but ended;
Because the gods have gone
On holiday
Y todos los días – rezar:
Rezar con el cuerpo entero,
Rezar, caminando para atrás,
Hacia donde yo era Cualquiera
/
Y todas las tardes – contar:
Contar con el reloj cansado
Los minutos que quieren saltar
Y huir de la noche pesada
/
Y todas las noches – llorar:
Llorar de dolor y de dudas;
En espejos de oscuridad
Se reflejan mis caras de Judas
/
Y cada mañana – lavar,
Lavar este rostro de polvo
Secarlo a la luz del sol
Y seguir hacia la Praza do Obradoiro
On the Neva’s wide banks in Your home, made of rocks
I stand quietly, breathing and staring
At Your icons which I try to pray to, but can’t:
My heart falters in doubt and I barely
/
Even manage to keep my hands close to the flames
Of the candles of hopes, crying, melting,
Changing sizes and shapes, burning down to the base –
So much like me that it seems unsettling
/
I stand like this all day, looking straight in Your eyes –
They’re alive with the flames’ golden flicker;
‘Where’s my candle today? Where’s the light of my life?’
I keep asking, my knees getting weaker
/
I will leave You at night: with the river I’ll walk
To the sea and dive into its copper
Waters smelling of cold, waters swarming with rocks:
I will whisper my prayers to Your waters
