suicide

Talk to Her

~ sixthsymph ~ 6 Comments

He said:

I’m sorry that I couldn’t save you:

I had neither the courage, nor the time,

And nor the love, and nor the substance necessary

To stand between you and the monsters,

Devouring your feverish, enchanted mind;

/

She said:

I understand and do not blame you,

I, too, you see, lacked all the things you lack:

I ran faster than ever-speeding seconds,

Away from ruthlessly incomprehensible responses

To questions that I read between the lines upon my hands

/

He said:

I thought, you would, as always,

Save yourself…

/

She said:

I tried, as always, but that night, somehow,

I failed

The Cocoon

~ sixthsymph ~ 4 Comments

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This night,

It hasn’t dressed me for the morning:

I’m still in a cocoon

Of interwoven blacks and blues

/

Staring at dawn,

I cannot feel daylight returning,

Or touching me –

It’s just a colour, of no use

/

To me,

A terribly disturbed spectator,

Watching an artist’s brush,

Envying him his muse

/

To me,

Self-tried and sentenced perpetrator,

Sharing the maze-like cell

With my self-righteous jury

/

Tonight

I put my hands over my eyes and

I sew them up

With threads as strong as needles

/

I lock my nightmares

From the outside world within me:

They’ll be

The only things I see for years

/

I’ll write of them

And paint them with my blind hands;

One day

I’ll hear you ask me: ‘what is that?’

/

I won’t reply;

With monsters pushing through

My numb lips,

I’ll go to sleep in my cocoon instead

The Counting-Out Rhyme

~ sixthsymph ~ 2 Comments

One, two – sigh – three

Yes, this truck’s the one for me

 

It is fast, and big, and heavy

It can take me straight to heaven

 

Four, five, six, seven

My heart’s open, I will never

 

Want, or fail, or swear again, or

Blame and hate for being blamed

 

Eight, and nine, and ten – and go,

Such heavy wheels, such an endless road

The Note

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It seems like snow is falling slower

Outside the windows of my eyes;

I’m dying, sinking ever lower

Each day; you couldn’t help me rise;

/

And there, beyond the reach of voices,

Laughter and promises of spring

I’m waiting – not to be recovered,

I’m waiting to feel free to leave;

/

My chest and skull are full of acid,

My mouth is foul with cruel words;

I keep it shut, and smile as always:

It hurts so much, it doesn’t hurt;

/

Don’t shake me for I am not sleeping,

Don’t wait for me – I won’t be soon;

To save my heart I have to take this

One last step up – into the noose;

/

I’m sorry about every tear you’ll cry;

I swear to you, the fault is only mine;

I love you, and I know you know it, so

Good-bye